i get that people are more comfortable with defined rules and structure but i also think queer people lost when they started resorting to dictionary definitions for what labels mean
the queer umbrella is meant to deviate from the norm of rigid boxes and definitions and to decide that lesbian means Only this, bi means Only this, etc, is directly contradicting what queer means. each and every label is going to have a unique meaning to the person using it and that is how it's supposed to be. if you're not comfortable with that...sorry?
i keep seeing ppl say the bi lesbian label makes it seem like lesbians are "available to men"... like, uh, im bi lesbian and im not "available" to men. im not ""available"" to anybody. with or without attraction im not just Available to people. you can have attraction to someone without desiring romance/sex with them.
when i say im bi lesbian, i mean i can harbor attraction for people of any gender, but im extremely less likely to for guys (like. literally 1 or 2% of my attraction is probably for guys honestly) and i also doubt that at any point ill desire to be in a romantic relationship with a man (excluding sex here bc im a sex repulsed ace). by yalls logic, if i state im just bi or even "bi with a preference" and that means im "available to men," when im extremely super not, wheres that gonna leave me?
if someones a lesbian they shouldnt be assumed to just be "available" to anybody. if someones bi they shouldnt be assumed to be "available" to anybody (esp since not everyone uses bi to include all genders). when is someone "available?" when they show interest to date/sleep together. thats literally it. the problem with "men thinking theyre available to lesbians" has barely anything to do with sexualities. the problem is that some men even when told by a woman that theyre not interested, from either a direct "no" or saying theyre a lesbian, they still assume they have a chance. thats not on anyone else. thats on shitty men not respecting boundaries and learning no means no. stop blaming others for their shitty actions finally please.
retired-magicalgirl-deactivated
Your gender identity or sexuality is not consent.
Also, I think that many bi lesbians are intentionally using “lesbian” to communicate that they are NOT interested in being sexually or romantically involved with men... whether or not they feel attraction towards men.
Until 50 years ago the word for a bisexual woman was “lesbian”
I’m not denying that female homosexuality is a natural part of human nature and has always sexisted. There absolutely are and always have been women who are exclusively attracted to only women. The distinction that is relatively recent is the distinction between people who are different levels of attracted to women.
Which is to say, if a woman had sex with other women, the word for her was “lesbian”, regardless of her relationship to men. Until the 1970s.
So for example, in lesbian bars of the 1930s-50s, where butch/femme culture emerged (check out Boots of Leather, Slippers of Gold by Elizabeth Lapovsky Kennedy and Madeline Davis), femmes usually tended to be married to men who financially supported them. While married to their husbands, they went to lesbian bars and had affairs with other women. Bisexual women were part of the lesbian community. When the Daughters of Bilitis, the first lesbian advocacy group in the USA, formed in 1955, a great deal of their work was helping women leave their husbands. Some of them were completely gay and locked in loveless heterosexual marriages with men they were incapable of desiring–some of them were bisexuals who were capable of love and attachment to men, but were actively pursuing relationships with women. To tell which were which would involve delving deeply into their personal thoughts and feelings, which we can only do for a few of them through this much distance and time, because they at the time didn’t think the difference between gay and bisexual women was terribly important.
Or, very rarely, we’d know they were bisexual because it actually entered the historical record. As Genny Beemyn recounts in A Queer Capital: A History of Gay Life in Washington, Part 3, the Mattachine Society’s 1965 protest against homophobic discrimination in federal employment included lesbian Lilli Vincenz walking in the picket line next to self-identified bisexual woman Judith “JD” Kuch.
The split between lesbians and bisexual women as distinct groups dates back to the 1970s, with groups like The Furies Collective, who advocated that women withdraw from male society completely–that women end all working, personal, or casual relationships with men, and with any woman who would not do so also. The Furies are often cited as a landmark in the formation of lesbian feminism and lesbian separatism, but their first newspaper proclaimed, “Lesbianism is not a matter of sexual preference, but rather one of political choice which every woman must make if she is to become woman-identified and thereby end male supremacy.“
That’s where the major division between bisexual and lesbian women came from. It wasn’t a deep interrogation of the nature of lesbian women’s desires; it was appropriation of the word “lesbian” to mean a political choice instead of a sexual orientation. It comes from the sense that the choice to work with, be friends with, or sleep with men is a choice to be complicit in women’s oppression. From this comes the idea that bisexual women are less trustworthy, less capable of truly loving other women, and less deserving of a place in lesbian society.
This attitude about bisexual women shows in personal stories of the 1970s. For example, lesbian feminist Robin Tyler recalls an argument at the 1973 West Coast Lesbian Feminist Conference, where some members wanted to remove invited musician Beth Elliot from the stage because she was a trans woman: “When Robin Morgan came out against Beth, I said to her, look, you’re bisexual and you’re up here determining who should belong to this movement and who shouldn’t?“
Then in 1979, the lesbian sex manual Sapphistry by Pat Califia was being prepared for publication when its author came out as bisexual in an article for The Advocate. Its publisher immediately threatened to cancel publication of the book–a book about how women could have sex with women–because “we do not publish books by bisexual women!” (She later relented, and the book was published in 1980.)
History makes it very clear that it took active work to push bisexual women out of the lesbian community, and it hasn’t entirely stuck over the years–after all, most towns or cities don’t have a large enough LGBTQ+ population to have both a lesbian separatist potluck and a queer-friendly WLW sapphic potluck. A woman looking to date other women goes to lesbian events because that’s all there are in most places. We didn’t fight for “gay and sapphic marriage”, despite the number of bisexual women who wanted to marry other women; politically, bi women in relationships with women have always been grouped under “lesbian”, and there has been almost no push, especially not from lesbians, to popularize “sapphic” as the default descriptor for women attracted to women but with unknown sexual histories and/or personal desires.
has anyone talked about how Taylor refers to herself as a man in dear reader?? bc all I can think about is how it further establishes gaylor interpretations and theories!
komaru-reblogs-deactivated20231
forever thinking about this little flash of hajime that nagito gets in his coma world after hearing the world destroyer’s voice like. the other two things he sees are jabberwock island and his death in the simulation, both of which are very important/significant. but then this is literally just a memory of hajime on the beach smiling at him!! no one else is in the frame it is literally just hajime, close up style, and although he’s glitching you can tell he’s got a friendly expression like. the fact that they put this on the same level as the visions of jabberwock and his death………….. hajime’s really that important to him huh.
YOU STUPID BI IDIOT!!!!!!!! “ohhh i hate komaeda he’s so weird and bad, he’s a horrible person who i dont understand at all” SO WHY ARE YOU FONDLY SMILING AT HIM LIKE THAT DUMBASS
Can you name anything more bisexual than killing someone using finger guns?
